How to Set Up Your Bedroom to Support Love
In honor of Valentine’s Day, we are sharing the essential do’s and don’ts for creating a bedroom that attracts and supports loving relationships. Whether you want to nurture your current relationship, find a partner, or focus on loving yourself—your home can help!
We’re going to start with some general tips for everyone, and then dive into more specific tips for couples, singles looking for love, and for anyone who wants to focus on loving your home and yourself!
Bedroom Tips for Love:
– Do create a sensual home with soft fabrics, romantic colors, and comfy furniture. Click here for more tips about creating a sensual home.
– Do put your bed in command position: It is human nature to feel the most comfortable and secure when we have a solid wall behind us and a view of the door. Click here to learn more about arranging furniture in Command Position.
– Do use healthy materials and choose a comfortable bed: If we are not well-rested and healthy, we don’t have the energy we need to enjoy life and those around us! Click here to follow the steps to make a healthy and comfortable bedroom.
– Do create a view from the bed: Be particularly mindful of your (and your partner’s) view from the bed. What we see first and last upon waking influences our subconscious. Also, be mindful of your view from the window. Windows symbolize how we feel about the world. If you don’t have a positive view, click here for tips about how you can create a view.
– Do live in a clutter-free, organized, beautiful space. Being disorganized doesn’t make us feel good about ourselves and negatively affects our self-esteem—we often feel behind, unsuccessful, or not “together” when we can’t find things. And who can think about romance when there’s a big pile of laundry on the floor or stacks of papers by the bedside table.
– Don’t bring work into the bedroom: A bedroom should serve only two purposes—rest and romance.
– Don’t have a television or electronics in the bedroom: Televisions and laptops can interfere with intimacy and a good night’s sleep.
– Don’t clutter your bedside tables (or anywhere else in the bedroom): Clutter collects dust, stagnates energy and just weighs on our minds.
– Don’t position your bed with a view of the bathroom: If your bed faces a bathroom, keep the bathroom door closed and the toilet lid down. In Feng Shui, views of bathrooms – and toilets in particular – are a drain (pun intended) on our energy and our relationships.
– Don’t store things under your bed: Energy should flow freely in and around a bed to support a good night’s rest and a healthy relationship.
– Do have current photo of you and your partner together and happy: Make sure at least one of your happy photos is current—affirming that your relationship is thriving now, in this moment.
– Do promote equality: Make sure each side of the bed is desirable. Choose bedside tables and lamps of approximately the same size and make sure you can get in and out of the bed easily from both sides.
– Do anchor your intention for your relationship in your bedroom: Create a visual affirmation by choosing an object, work of art, photograph, book, quote, letter that symbolizes what you want for your relationship or by making a list of written.
– Do space clear after an argument: A room will hold the energy of emotions, events and people. If you have an argument you can clear the energy simply by opening windows and allowing in fresh air, or you can click here to follow these steps to energy cleanse the room. It is particularly important to cleanse the energy in a bedroom after a disagreement.
– Do live in a home that balances the feminine and masculine: A home that is overly feminine may not invite masculine energy; a home that is too masculine may not support feminine energy. By creating a home that balances the masculine and feminine you are creating an environment that supports your relationship.
– Don’t allow children’s toys in your bedroom: Prioritize your relationship, establish boundaries, and protect your sacred space by making sure children do not keep their things in your bedroom.
– Don’t have lots of pictures of family in the bedroom: Excessive pictures of friends, family, and children do not help set the stage for romance. You don’t need to be thinking of friends, family and your kids while trying to be romantic. Establish privacy by removing photos from the bedroom.
– Don’t fill your home, and especially your bedroom, with pictures, letters, and belongings from an ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend: Surround yourself with things that reinforce who you are now and who you want to be. Looking for a new relationship is a time of looking forward to your future, not being bogged down in your past!
– Don’t decorate in a way that resembles your childhood room: Rooms that look like they are designed for girls and boys rather than men and women are a real turn-off. Avoid doll collections, stuffed animals on the bed, too much lace or pink, sorority signs, baskets of dried flowers, furniture that looks like it is meant for teenagers rather than adults. Men want to be with a woman, not take care of a little girl.
– Don’t have a bedroom that resembles your college dorm room: Avoid the “college frat room look” or the “bachelor pad” (i.e. mattress on the floor, futons, high school trophies, dirty dishes in the sink, clutter everywhere, etc…). Women won’t think you’re looking for something serious if you live like you’re in college.
– Don’t have lots of “Single Women Art.” Time and time again we find that our single female clients have an abundance of art depicting a single woman, often looking pensive or depressed! Your home is a reflection of your state of mind, so surround yourself with images that reflect your goals (such as pictures of romantic places, happy couples or things in two’s) and evoke positive, uplifting feelings.
– Don’t have lots of pictures of friends in your bedroom: Also, make sure your photos are current. Too many pictures of other people’s lives and a particular time in your past can divert focus away from your own life in the present moment. Create space for new people in your life and a new “best time of your life” by creating room for new photos.
– Don’t set up a home office in the bedroom: Invariably a home office in the bedroom means that work will take the place of a partner. If you don’t have any other options find a way to hide your desk at night with a curtain, plant or screen.
– Do make space for your future partner: Do set up your home for two people. Often we find single men and women create a home, and in particular, a bedroom for one (i.e., one bedside table, one reading lamp, one pillow or the long side of the bed is pushed up against a wall so only one person can enter the bed comfortably). While it is important to accept and embrace where you are now, it is also important that you make space for a partner. Create a home for two people and you’ll both symbolically and physically be making space for your future partner. Add a second side table, push the bed away from the wall, add another reading lamp, and make sure there are places for two people to eat together or hang out. When you live “as if” you are already in a relationship you’re setting a strong intention.
– Do commit to your home and living full out. Many people wait for a partner before buying or decorating a home, because they want to wait until they have a “real” home (which is often mistakenly associated with settling down and getting married, registering for gifts, and buying a house). By waiting and surrounding yourself with things you don’t love, that are not in good condition, or things that you feel are second-rate, you’re subconsciously telling yourself that you don’t deserve better. It’s important to invest in yourself now and embrace the present moment. By doing so, you are sending a message that you are worthy and you are surrendering and accepting where you are now, which often leads to change.
– Do decorate with romantic colors. Color has an impact on our emotions. An all white room or a room with little color can “cool off” any romance. To promote more romance in your life, decorate the bedroom with sensual colors, like skin tones such as beige and chocolate, or use shades of red, the color associated with passion and love, like burgundy and terracotta. Adding color makes your home more fun, flirty, and sexy. On the other hand, too much of one very strong color can be overwhelming. For example, too much of a powerful , energizing color like red can increase arguments and make it hard to sleep.
– Do anchor your intentions in your bedroom: Choose a quote, work of art, object or photograph that reflects your ideal relationship. Click here to follow the steps to create a written and visual affirmation for a loving relationship.
– Do check out our eGuide “Finding Love at Home: The Single Girl’s Guide to Feng Shui and Life Design.”
– Do try everything on the Loving Your Home and Yourself list below!
– Don’t hold on to things that you don’t love: What better time than when you are enjoying being single to live with only the things YOU love? You have a wonderful opportunity to express yourself fully and freely. Abandon any rules about decorating or what a home should or should not be- say thanks, but no thanks to any voices in your head such as your mother or an ex—and make a home for you!
– Don’t keep things that are not in working order: Broken items and things in disrepair make us feel less then excellent.
– Don’t keep things that don’t make you feel good about yourself: Imagine everything in your home has a voice. Let go of anything that is not speaking to you in a loving, supportive voice.
– Do surround yourself with positive reflections: Our homes are reflections of who we are. Your home will influence how you feel about yourself. Click here to make sure your home is reflecting who you want to be and makes you feel good.
– Do set intentions: Written affirmations coupled with visual anchors in our home often result in transformation.
– Do love your home and it will love you back: We are in a relationship with our home. And like it or not, homes require time and care. But the more we give to our home, the more it gives back.
– Do have a self-care routine: Arranging your home to support your healthy routines can help you be consistent with your self-care. Click here to create a home that supports healthy habits.
– Do create a healthy and stress-free bedroom: We spend a third of our lives asleep. So click here to set up a bedroom to support our physical and emotional well being.
Happy Valentine’s Day!
For more “Love” Tips, check out the following blogs:
Creating a Sensual Home
How to Change Your Bedroom to Improve Your Live Life (Before and After)
Or watch the video…