Embracing the Unknown
Recently my husband and I took a leap of faith. We put our house on the market, and not because we had a plan for what or where our next home would be, but rather because we had a calling that selling was the right thing to do. Our motivation stemmed from intuition. For the past year we felt an urge to move and a desire to simplify, lighten up and live in a home that is even more aligned with who we are now. This spring the calling was so strong that we both knew we needed to receive and act on our inner-guidance. We gave ourselves two weeks to touch up our home and within two days of being on the market we had multiple bids and found ourselves in escrow a few days later at an above-ask price. We took this as confirmation from the universe that we were headed in the right direction.
In the past, I would have had a very clear direction/intention and known what next step, or house, I wanted to manifest before selling my current house. This time is different. We are not entirely clear why we are moving and we don’t know where we will end up. Of course I should add that we’re not entirely without a home. This past fall we bought a second house in the mountains and had already intended to spend the summer there. So our short-term plan is to pack up, put everything in storage, get to the mountains, and wait for some kind of inner knowing.
I have learned some things in the past few weeks about embracing the unknown. It has been an exercise in staying in the moment. I often find myself thinking and trying to figure out what this move is about? Where should we live? Should we buy or rent our next place? We even looked at a few homes. I fell in love with one, my husband another and since we usually always agree we concluded this meant neither one was right. I could not ignore my intuition telling me that as hard as it is now to not know what’s next, it’s also not the time to make decisions. It became clear to me that I am supposed to give myself the time and space to consider all the possibilities—or as my sister likes to say “hang out in the unknown.” Once I surrendered and relaxed into the “not knowing,” I was able to find peace and excitement for a future that is a mystery. In fact, I have found myself surprisingly unattached and comfortable and the feeling has been very freeing.
If you’ve been in a situation when you didn’t know what was coming next (whether it was related to your career, your relationships, your living situations, etc), you know it can be a tense and confusing time, but here is what I learned about embracing the unknown that helped me maintain a sense of adventure and view it as an exciting time:
Stay in the Present Moment: When I took things one step at a time and stayed in the present moment, I found peace and clarity. In the moment, the need to know the who, what, why and when disappears. When I catch myself thinking or trying to solve or guess, I bring myself back to the present.
Surrender to the unknown and trust: In a state of not knowing possibilities are endless and this experience can be inspiring and creative. If we quickly move to make a plan or define our experience chances are we will be creating something familiar. To truly find something new and change, I think there must be a period of time of living in the unknown or we end up just reverting to our past ways. If we trust, we can relax knowing that all is unfolding for our highest good.
Sometimes the right decision is to not decide. Put a different way—if you don’t have the answer, that may be the answer. I realize looking at my past that there have been many times when I felt the need to make a decision. I put myself between two choices, not realizing that sometimes the answer is not to choose, but to wait. When things are not flowing and unclear that may mean it simply is not time to make a decision no matter how important it seems to move forward or how much our mind tells us we need to act or do.
Let life shape itself: I have been reading The Lady in the Palazzo by Marlena di Blasi and “Let Life Shape Itself” is the title of one of the chapters and a theme throughout the book. I very much feel that I am along for the ride. The past few weeks life has been happening and I have just been allowing and participating, but not pushing or forcing anything. It is amazing how easily things fall into place and opportunity arises—how much less time and effort and stress you experience, when you simply allow life to unfold.
The process is more important than the final decisions: The kids, my husband, and everyone around me react off of how I am inside of myself. If I believe this is an adventure and I am expecting and joyfully anticipating magic—that is the spirit with which it all unfolds. It is remarkable how the feelings and sensations of fear and excitement are just a subtle shift of perception. I’ve come to realize it almost doesn’t matter where we go or what home we end up in when I remain centered—our home is within.