Moving in Together: Sharing a Home and Life
While moving in with a partner is an exciting time, many couples find it is also a big adjustment that requires a lot of understanding, communication and compromise. Blending two personalities into one home can sometimes be a challenge. Many people not only have different taste and lifestyles, but also have different ideas of the meaning of home. During this time of transition you and your partner may need support, and this support can begin with your home. Creating an empowering foundation that supports your physical, emotional and spiritual well-being and reflects your shared values will go a long way in determining the success of your relationship. By utilizing the connection between home and self a couple has the opportunity to not only design an ideal home together, but also an ideal life together.
In the same way that your home reflects who you are, your home also influences who you are. What’s in your home and how it’s arranged can affect some of the most important aspects of your life. A home that is cluttered and disorganized can lead to disagreements and hostility that can be avoided. For example, having to search for important bills because your home office is disorganized or having to cook in a messy kitchen may make you frustrated and more apt to snap at your spouse. Think of how easy is it would be lose the passion in a relationship when a disorganized, cluttered home means all your free time with your partner is spent running errands and talking about mundane chores. On the other hand, a beautiful, peaceful, healthy home that is a sanctuary for you and your partner can make your time at home together more relaxing and enhance your relationship. Imagine coming home after a bad day at work where you are bombarded by the pressures of your job, noise pollution and environmental toxins to a comfortable, serene home where you can unwind or to a cozy, healthy bedroom where you are able to sleep soundly and your body can rejuvenate. You can’t help but to associate who you live with, with your experience at home so by creating a home that supports your lifestyle, you are also creating a home that supports your relationship.
Relationships can sometimes be challenging so you and your partner will benefit from a solid home base that will help you create a healthy, happy relationship and a fulfilling and meaningful life both as individuals and as a couple sharing a joint purpose.
Tips for Moving in Together:
Choose Your New Home Together: Taking the time to clarify your needs before you rent or purchase a home goes a long in way in determining whether your home will or will not successfully support your lifestyle. Most people look at an entire set of criteria that helps determine their budget for buying or renting and evaluate whether or not it is a good financial investment, but forget to take the same amount of time to decide whether or not it’s good emotional investment. People need examine what their practical, emotional and spiritual needs as thoroughly as their financial needs.
Prepare Before You Move: It is important for each person to decide what they want to bring with them to their new home, as well as what they might want to leave behind. Objects we hold on to are frequently representative of some kind of emotional attachment to a time, a place, a feeling or another person. By letting go of the object, we can release emotional attachments that no longer serve us. When you move you have an opportunity to not only create a new home, but also a new life. When a couple moves in together you and your partner are not only making a home you are defining and creating your life together. To give each person and your relationship the best possible foundation it is important to start fresh and make mindful decisions. The more purpose and awareness you bring to the process before moving in together, the smoother the transition into your new home will be. Creating a home with your partner sets the foundation for your life together.
Decorate Together: Once each individual defines their own style and has assessed their practical needs comes the challenge of blending two styles that may be different. But even with very different tastes – you can create harmony in the home by looking for common threads in your two styles (i.e. perhaps your styles are different, but you like the same color…). Also decide where you’re willing to compromise and where you’re not—perhaps you realize color is less important to you than comfort so your partner picks the color of your sofa, but you choose the style. Or maybe how the furniture is arranged is more important to you than style, so you arrange the furniture and let your partner pick the fabrics, etc… Finally, when you simply can’t agree, choose your tie-breakers. For example, if you do all the cooking then perhaps you should have final say over the kitchen and if your partner spends more time in your home office then perhaps you could let her have final say in the office.
Design a Romantic, Restful Bedroom: The bedroom is so important because it is the place where you both start and finish your day, where your bodies rest, your mind is restored and your immune systems replenish each night. For a couple, the bedroom is also a place for romance. How you decorate the bedroom, the energy of the bedroom and what you choose to keep in the bedroom will all have a great impact on the quality of your sex life. Ideally the bedroom should be a relaxing refuge reserved for rest and romance, so create a bedroom that only serves these two purposes by resisting the temptation to turn your bedroom into a multi-purpose room – no matter how small your home. Objects like treadmills, televisions and computers are distractions that remind us of exercise routines that need to be started or work that needs to be completed and prevent us from fully resting our minds and placing our attention on our partners. House your exercise equipment, home office or anything else that is not conducive to sleep and romance elsewhere.