A few years ago, we were invited to be on KCAL CBS News at Noon on Valentines Day to discuss tips for improving your love life by re-arranging your bedroom. Enhancing your bedroom (the room we most associate with romance) can have a big impact on your current relationship or it can help you attract a new relationship.
We had a great time on the show. Thanks to everyone at KCAL for being so welcoming! Watch the clip above and then keep reading for some additional tips!
Below is an example of a bedroom that is representative of many of the issues we often see in homes. First, let’s look at the before pictures and talk about what was already working well in this bedroom.
Clutter-free: This room was clutter-free and that’s great! Clutter collects dust, stagnates energy and weighs on us both mentally, physically, and energetically. Clearly a pile of laundry or a mess does not help set the stage for romance and it’s difficult to fall asleep when reminded of all the things that we need to take care of or have been left undone. Our homes are a reflection of who we are and when we’re looking for a relationship we want to put our best self forward. Clutter and disorganization can set us up for failure and make us feel badly about ourselves. Whether we wish to attract a partner or sustain a healthy relationship, how we feel about ourselves is probably the most important ingredient.
Bed position: This bed was in the perfect spot. It’s human nature to feel more protected when we have a view of the door and a solid wall behind us. Even if we know our homes are secure, our bodies will better be able to relax by placing the bed in this position. A good night’s sleep is essential to your health and wellbeing and feeling good about ourselves is a first step to finding, or improving, a relationship. So make sure that both you and your partner have a view of the door, but that your feet are not pointed directly at the door, and that you have the support of a solid wall behind you. If you can’t place the bed against a solid wall and there are windows behind you, invest in an upholstered or wooden headboard.
Healthy Mattress: This is an organic mattress. You will spend almost a third of your life asleep in bed, so make sure your bed is a healthy place. The first step to attracting or sustaining a positive relationship is to feel good about ourselves. Good health certainly helps. Next time you buy new bedding, consider replacing sheets and pillows made of synthetic materials with natural, organic cotton bedding. If you don’t buy organic, buy natural materials like linen or cotton and avoid anything that says “permanent press,” “wrinkle free,” or “stain repellant” because usually they’re treated with chemicals like formaldehyde. You may also consider buying a natural, organic mattress made of wool or natural rubber.
Now let’s take a look at some of the challenges in this bedroom.
Rest and Romance: This bedroom had a home office and was what what we like to call a “multi-tasking bedroom.” Bedrooms should serve only two purposes: rest and romance. In today’s busy world we are constantly multi-tasking, and unfortunately, so are our bedrooms. Bedrooms often not only house the bed, but more and more often are also home offices, exercise rooms, and TV rooms—it’s no wonder so many people have a hard time sleeping. Give your mind and body a break. Computers, desks, televisions, and exercise equipment just detract from the cozy, peaceful, romantic atmosphere you want to create in your bedroom. Imagine how hard it is to have a restful night’s sleep when you’re facing your desk piled with papers, bills and a computer just waiting to be used. Your desk is like a visual reminder of all the work that needs to be completed and bills that need to be paid. We also find that often when there’s a desk in the bedroom that work starts taking over and can take the place of a relationship. If possible, move anything that does not support sleep or intimacy to another room. This also means no television. Don’t let a television or work replace a partner or intimacy in your life. If due to a lack of space this is not possible (or you can’t bear to part with the TV), hide these objects when they’re not in use in an armoire or closet. If you must place a desk in the bedroom consider purchasing a screen to cover that area at night.
Romantic Photos: In this bedroom there were a lot of photos by the bed. Lots of pictures of family and friends won’t set the stage for romance. It is hard enough for parents with children in the house to get out of mommy/daddy mode, you don’t need to be reminded of your kids while trying to have a romantic moment. This also applies to pictures of mother-in-laws, college roommates, etc. Establish privacy by removing photos from the bedroom. If you want a photograph, choose a picture of you and your partner that reminds you both of a happy, romantic moment that you shared together. If you’re single, choose romantic artwork or a photo of something that inspires you.
Bedroom for Two: This bedroom was designed for one person. We find many single men and women have a bedroom set up for one person (i.e., one bedside table, or one reading lamp, or the long side of the bed is pushed up against a wall so only one person can enter the bed comfortably). While it is important to accept and embrace where you are now, it is also necessary to make space for a partner. So if you’re looking for love set a strong intention for a new relationship by pushing the bed away from the wall and adding a second side table or another reading lamp. Act “as if” you’re already in a relationship.
If you are in a relationship create romantic harmony by making sure each side of the bed is equally appealing. Be sure that you have two side tables of approximately equal size. One side table, or side tables of substantially different sizes, can create a sense of inequality between partners.
Color: Color has an impact on our emotions. An all white room, like this one was before, or a room with little color, or decorated in only cool colors can “cool off” a relationship. To promote more romance in your life, decorate the bedroom with sensual colors, like skin tones such as beige and chocolate, or use shades of red, the color associated with passion, like burgundy and terracotta. Adding color makes the room more fun, flirty, and sexy. On the other hand, too much color can sometimes be overwhelming, for example we don’t suggest painting the room all red–too much red can increase arguments and make it hard to sleep.
Pleasing View From the Bed and Intentions: In this room the view from the bed was an orchid with no blooms–not very inspirational! Create a pleasing view. Whatever you see from your bed is the last thing you see at night and the first thing you see in the morning, so make sure you like what you see. This view can have a powerful impact on how you feel about your life. For example, if you do have a view of a bathroom, keep the bathroom door closed at night. You may also want to enhance a plain view with artwork you find beautiful or inspirational. Or find something that represents your dreams and intentions, such as objects that are in alignment with your goals like books about love or stones with written intentions.
To watch on Vimeo:
Want more tips? If you’re single and looking for love check out our eGuide “Finding Love at Home: The Single Girl’s Guide to Feng Shui and Life Design.”