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February 2, 2012 by Alison

Love at First Sight…

How are dating and looking for a new home alike? Let me count the ways…

Have you ever had the experience of meeting someone for the first time and they already seem familiar, or you just know you’re going to become close, or perhaps you experience that instant, undeniable chemistry?

For me, looking for a new apartment is a bit like dating… that gut feeling you get when you first meet someone is a lot like the feeling I get when I check out a new apartment… and when it’s right, you just know.

Of course, the right apartment doesn’t come along everyday. At first you may check out a few that look good on paper—right neighborhood, right number of bedrooms—but you see it and it just doesn’t inspire you or perhaps you discover that spacious second bedroom on the listing is actually a dining room. Or maybe you’ve fallen hard for gorgeous hardwood floors or beautiful landscaping, but on second glance you realize good looks just won’t compensate for its location by a noisy highway or with further investigation you realize that gorgeous landscaping is also really high maintenance.

Perhaps you’ve had good friends or real estate agents claim they found the perfect place for you! They’ve seen it and love it and just known you will, too. But often one person’s idea of perfection is not another’s.

You may find yourself spending a lot of time going to open house after open house and hoping that this time, it will be the one. You might even be tempted to settle as you compare your mental list of everything you wanted with what’s actually on the market and start prioritizing what really matters to you… charming features or modern amenities? Great curb appeal or a solid foundation?

In the end, many people will find that when they see their next home, they get that gut feeling right away. You know when you’ve found the right place when the “list” you’ve had of everything you thought you wanted just falls away, the less than perfect features seem manageable or perhaps even charming, and you instantly start imagining your future there.

After looking for over a year and seeing more apartments than I care to count—I just fell in love at first sight. I actually decided I would take my new place while standing in the garage before I had even gone upstairs to see the actual living space. Admittedly, it’s a cool garage/artist’s studio, but I found it funny that after being so picky for such a long time, I knew I was home before I even walked in the front door.

It has many of the features that I wanted, a few features that are missing that I would liked to have had but realized aren’t as important to me as I thought they were, and a few features that I love that I hadn’t even imagined. But in the end, it came down to a simple feeling—a feeling I was home.

Tips When Looking For Your New Home:

1) Don’t discount a place based on pictures alone. So many times places I’ve seen online that don’t look good, turn out to be great—unfortunately the opposite is also true, it’s amazing how good photography can make a room the size of a closet look as big as a football field.

2) Write a list of everything you want and dream of—then let it go. Find some quiet time to daydream about your next home and write down everything you can think of that you’d like to have. We suggest writing in the present tense, like an affirmation. For example, ‘I’m enjoying sitting in my spacious living room with gorgeous views and ocean breezes.’ I wrote a list like this—it’s called creating an ideal scene—and then three days later I found my new home, which had everything I wrote about. Writing your list is a great first step to finding your perfect home so be detailed, but remember not to hold so tightly to your list that you miss something else that could be equally great or even better. For instance, I really wanted two bedrooms, but if I’d only looked at two bedroom apartments, I would have missed the unbelievable loft space I’m now calling home.

3) Identify any deal breakers and stick to them. There are always one or two things that we know don’t make us happy—for example some people can’t stand noise while others can tolerate it. Or one person may need AC, while someone else would give it up if it meant a place by the ocean (if you’re in LA you can appreciate this one as the closer you get to the ocean the less places have central air). If there’s something you know you need, like air conditioning or quiet, stick to your guns and don’t settle. Feeling like I was under time pressure, I once took a place I didn’t love that had one my deal breakers, and the whole time I was there the things that bugged me the first day continued to bug me until the day I moved out—it’s the one apartment I never totally felt at home in. Of course, make sure they truly are deal breakers—again, you don’t want to miss a great place by being too narrow-minded.

4) Communicate with your real estate agent—share your list with him/her—let him know if there are any deal breakers (such as, I have a dog so I need a dog-friendly building) and be clear about where there might be room to compromise (I’d like three bedrooms, but could manage with two if it’s in the neighborhood I love). Your real estate agent can’t read your mind so help him, help you!

5) Get the word out. Let people know you’re looking. You never know when someone’s neighbor or coworker may be moving out of a home that would be perfect for you.

6) Don’t settle. Many times during my search I thought I’d have to settle… the places I liked were out of my price range, or weren’t in the neighborhood I wanted, or the location was perfect, but the place was lacking somehow… I often wondered if perhaps I was just being too picky… but for me, finding the right place was worth the wait. Is my place perfect? Maybe not for everyone—but for me, it’s the perfect match.

If you liked this blog, you may also like:
Designing Your Life
Time to Lighten Up!
The Best Path to a New Home is Embracing Your Current Home

Tips for Simple Meal Planning

In my new life in the mountains, I find myself spending more time cooking and baking. As a result, two things have happened: first, I am eating in a new way (more on this to come) and second, I feel like I am finally getting into a flow of meal planning, simplifying meal preparation and making tasty, healthy food for my family.

Below are a few things I have learned about how to simplify meals and make dinnertime more enjoyable:

Plan ahead: Planning ahead makes all the difference. I find it helps to have a routine. I like to plan meals for the week on Sundays. By then, I usually know the week’s schedule, so I can choose menus based on who will be home to eat and how much time I will have on a particular night. I then make my shopping list. Recently, I have made Mondays my day to shop and then cook for the days ahead.

Be realistic: Decide how may nights a week you will actually enjoy cooking. I decided four nights were enough for me. On the other nights consider leftovers, “breakfast dinners,” going out, take out, prepared foods from the grocery store, taking turns at friend’s homes, or let your partner cook.

Set aside the time: I find it so much more enjoyable to cook when I’m not in a rush. I really don’t like the stress of having hungry, impatient kids waiting when I haven’t even thought about what to make for dinner. If you have children go backwards from bedtime and figure out what time you need to serve dinner to accommodate the bedtime routine and then plan to start cooking an hour before that. (I only choose recipes that are fairly quick and simple, however between setting the table, getting washed for dinner, and cleaning as I go I find it still takes an hour). Now even my older son knows the schedule—one day when I had not planned ahead he said, “mom it’s already 5:00 and you haven’t even started thinking about dinner!” To which my response was, “you’re right, good thing you can help me!”

Get help: It goes so much faster when everyone chips in—even little things such as setting the table and filling the water glasses make a difference. The other night my son cleared the table and put away the placemats—a task that for some reason my husband and I both avoid even though we like having a clear table ready for the next day. It was one less thing for my husband and I to do before our “free time” together. I also noticed that when they have the job of clearing their own placemats (and dealing with the crumbs) they’re more careful about being neat!

Have a handful of recipes: I am not a creative, natural cook (at least not yet), so I rely entirely on recipes and follow them to the letter. It helps to have around 15 menus or recipes—that is really all you need. My kids look forward to the various menus and about 10 -15 recipes seems to be enough so they are not bored and actually look forward to the repetition. Also, the more you use each recipe the faster and easier it becomes. I suggest keeping your recipes in one place along with menus—sides, soups, etc… so that when you make your shopping list you can refer to it.

Create rituals: We used to have tacos every Friday night. Now on Friday nights we watch videos and order takeout, Saturday night is date night and the kids look forward to pizza and on Sunday nights we go out as a family. The kids love the predictability and look forward to these evenings. It also works with my cooking four nights a week plan. Growing up, my family would eat one night a week in the den in front of the TV so we could watch the Cosby show—it was a treat my sister and I really looked forward to. And the Cosby show has recently made a big comeback in my house, along with the Brady Bunch—but that’s another story.

Batch: It saves time to cook several meals at once. On Mondays I cook a Monday night’s dinner and marinate something for Tuesday. I usually also make a snack such as hummus and a soup that will last a few days. After the effort of cooking and cleaning up—I love knowing that I took care of more than one mealtime. A friend of mine saves time by prepping for dinner after breakfast—this way she has one less clean-up and more time on the other end of the day. I am experimenting with having a cooking afternoon on Mondays (the day I shop) and the day before cleaning day. I find I am not motivated to cook after the house has just been cleaned.

Find a teacher: Taking a cooking class and finding a good food blog made all the difference for me. I was lucky to find both at pamelasalzman.com. What are your favorite food blogs?

Clutter clear your kitchen: As with any task, I will avoid it if I there is something in the way of taking the first step, such as the anxiety that I will not be able to find a blade for the food processor or the frustration of navigating a jam-packed refrigerator.

I have a very small “pantry.” I love these baskets from Williams-Sonoma. While I typically avoid plastic (these baskets are made of polypropylene a “healthier” plastic), I wanted something I could wash and that wouldn’t attract insects or mold— and these do the trick. It helps me group items and find things more easily and keep the space more visually appealing.

Appealing refrigerator: Clutter-clear your refrigerator. I do my best to keep things in the refrigerator in order and clean it out once a week, but I have not figured out how to organize it. I notice that I avoid tasks if I am faced with an unattractive space—I am inspired by beauty. One thing that has made my refrigerator more appealing is an idea I got from Pamela Salzman. She makes herb “bouquets”, by placing herbs in glass jars. Not only are they pretty, but placing herbs in water also makes them last longer. If you have any ideas or resources for an inspiring refrigerator, please share!

Eat less: Consider both quantity and variety. When I make tacos along with guacamole, lettuce and tomato topping, I don’t really need to make an additional vegetable dish- especially if I have had or given my children nutritious snacks earlier in the day. I also notice that the less I put on my children’s plates at a time the more they will eat.

While I wouldn’t recommend this for children, personally I often have one liquid meal a day, usually a whole food smoothie.

Appetizers: I get so frustrated when dinner is not quite ready and the kids just can’t wait and start snacking—I know they will not eat as good a dinner and my efforts are wasted! Now I put a healthy snack on the counter while I cook (such as nuts or vegetables with dip). Even better is when some part of the dinner is ready such as soup or the vegetable.

Slow cooker: I have not tried this yet, but friends swear by it! Sounds appealing and time saving to come home at the end of the day and know dinner is ready. Have you tried it?

One-dish dinners: To me a one-dish incorporates a protein, veggie and carbohydrate. I would love to have more of these recipes—do you have any to share?

Maximize snacks: I try to get greens in earlier in the day– steamed broccoli or a smoothie with kale can be a snack. I find my children sometimes eat better at snack-time, rather than at night when everyone is tired and asked to “sit still” at the dinner table.

Change location: I find my children eat better and sit longer when we eat outdoors or even if I switch it up and serve dinner at the kitchen island versus the dining table. My four year old invented a new game that mommy and daddy love. It’s called “room service.” He sits on his bed and “orders” and we make dinner and serve it on a tray. He will wait patiently and quietly for up to an hour in his room for “room service.” We love this because it gives us uninterrupted, peaceful talking time while we make dinner.

Family style: I find my children are more interested in the food and in trying new things when I serve it family style and they can help themselves. I don’t like having extra dishes to clean, so I often use my glass storage containers (a healthier alternative to plastic) as serving dishes and then any leftovers can go straight to the refrigerator.

Breakfast tip: It helps the morning routine run more smoothly and on time when I lay out placemats, napkins and fill water glasses the night before.

Keeping your kids at the table: Getting young children to sit for mealtimes can be a challenge. We have many tips and suggestions for keeping your kids at the table.

Gratitude: I do my best enjoy the process of preparing meals, as I do believe that food “made with love” is filled with positive energy. Similarly, I often “bless” my food. I believe that setting a simple intention that our food serve us for optimal health will do just that. Giving thanks before meals has become a regular part of our dinner routine.

Time to Lighten Up!

I recently moved into a new apartment–a beautiful loft full of light that I absolutely love! As I was moving in, I realized I had the opportunity to only move in objects that I absolutely love as well.

If you read this blog regularly, you know my sister and I often write about living with what you love and clutter clearing, so this isn’t the first time I’ve had this thought. But this time, I had the unique experience of spending four months prior to my move only living with what I could fit in my car.

Five months ago I gave my landlord notice, packed up my apartment, put the majority of my belongings in storage, hopped in my car and drove 16 hours to a beautiful mountain ski resort where I enjoyed small town living for awhile (but that’s a different story!). As I was leaving LA and leaving behind the majority of my stuff, I felt lighter and free… like a heavy load had been lifted. It was as though my belongings, my lease, my cable bill, etc… had been a burden keeping me locked down. Living without all of “the stuff,” was a wonderful experience.

When I returned to LA, I rented a temporary, partially furnished apartment while I searched for a new home. And by partially furnished I mean it had the basics: a bed, sofa, small table for two, four plates, four forks, four glasses, one pot, one pan… you get the idea. By the time I found my new place, I had spent about four months pretty much only living with what I had packed in my car while most of my things sat in storage untouched, and as I learned… mostly unnecessary.

I really didn’t miss anything I had stored… a few times I thought “it would be nice to have blah, blah, blah…” but I also realized “it would be nice” is certainly not the same as needing it. So when the movers arrived at my new apartment and container after container was unloaded, all I could think was “what’s in all those all boxes? I already have everything I need!”

So instead of asking the movers to bring everything upstairs to the loft, I asked them to put the majority of boxes, and even furniture, into my garage. Then over the last month, I’ve slowly unpacked the boxes and only brought about 1/3 of what I owned into my actual living space. The rest I’m selling, giving away, or putting into very organized storage units in my garage until I determine if I’m going to need it.

I was also very conscious of only signing up for essential services… water, gas, and electricity. And although last week I did change my mind and get cable, I got the bare minimum in my package.

As a result, I feel lighter and my life feels simplified. Even though my schedule is actually busier and workload heavier than it has been in years, since the foundation from which I operate everyday, my home, is streamlined, clutter-free and full of things I love, I feel organized and inspired. As I sit right now in my living room writing this blog, I look around and feel very grateful for this new space—which has become: 1) a reflection of who I am today rather than a reminder of who I was in the past; 2) a creative outlet and artistic expression; 3) a supportive environment that helps my daily routines flow with ease and grace, and; 4) my home.

Here’s the process I used as I determined what I would bring into my new home:

- As I unpacked boxes, I looked at each object one at a time. I thought about how it made me feel and what thoughts came up. I imagined if the object had a voice—what would it be saying to me? I also considered whether the object triggered any memories. Often we keep things for the sentimental value, but it’s important to check in with the memories and thoughts associated with items to make sure they make you feel good or serve you in some way. I found myself often asking, “this object meant something to me in the past, but does it still have meaning now?” My answers gave me a pretty good idea of how these things were affecting my energy. I let go of anything that I didn’t love or wasn’t serving me anymore.

- I reconsidered what I needed. It’s easy to get caught up in thinking we “need” something when we really just want it, especially when we’re part of a society that celebrates consumption. But if we’re not careful all our stuff can begin to feel a bit overwhelming (we have to pay for our stuff, clean it, store it, repair it, etc…). Our belongings can end up owning us! I know continuing to evaluate what will truly be useful and what will just become more stuff will help me keep my home more simplified and less cluttered.

- A few times I found myself reluctant to let go of some things that I didn’t love and I didn’t really need. When I considered why it was usually because of some subconscious fear. I find that whenever I observe myself thinking, “I am keeping this object because I’m afraid (fill in the blank),” I have what is referred to as fear-based clutter. For example, holding onto a closet of business suits you don’t like because you’re afraid you might lose your new creative job that you love and where you don’t have to wear a suit. The suits become fear-based clutter you don’t need and that keeps you stuck in the past. If every time you look at an object you’re reminded of a fear-based scenario, you’re weighing yourself down with fearful thoughts. Instead, I’ve found it’s better to let the item go with the positive thought that you will be provided for and that all your needs will be met. After all, it doesn’t take a lot of stuff to meet one’s needs.

- Once I decided what to let go of, I then sorted items into the following piles: 1. Donations. Consider Goodwill or a local nonprofit. The Salvation Army may even come to your home for a pick-up. 2. Friends and Family. Maybe you bought something and it never quite fit you, or the color just isn’t right, but it might be perfect for your friend—chances are they will appreciate it. 3. Salable items. Garage sales, consignment shops or E-Bay are a few ways to sell things. If you are never going to use your great grandmother’s china, first offer it to other members of the family and if no one claims it, then by all means sell it. 4. Repairs and cleaning. Commit to repairing and cleaning the items within the week. 5. Trash and recyclables. It is best to schedule a pick-up or plan on getting items to a recycle center or dump right away. Leave the boxes and bags out in the open, so you will be motivated to clear them out faster. 6. Not sure yet. There were a few items I couldn’t decide what to do with, so I placed the few things that I wasn’t sure about into an organized storage unit in my garage. If I don’t use something within the year (I’m giving everything all four seasons), I’m giving it away.

- I admit I did buy a few new things for my place—mostly replacing things that were in poor condition. But as I was shopping, I asked myself if I absolutely loved it. If I felt lukewarm about something, I didn’t buy it. I also waited to buy something until I took at least 24 hours to consider the purchase so I didn’t buy anything on impulse. Finally, since I had just spent a lot of time looking at everything I already owned, I asked myself if something I had could work just as well as what I wanted to buy—more than once the answer was yes.

I’m now living with so much less stuff than I did before—and it feels great.

If you like this blog, you may like:
More Stuff Doesn’t Equal More Happiness
Green from the Inside Out
Self-Acceptance is the Ultimate Simplicity
Common Clutter Clearing Challenges
On Simplicity